the last sunset

My heart hurts and it never been so pain before..
I've been depressed for quite sometime..
I'm living in fear and worry each single day.
When? When then can i be free?
I know this suffering is just the beginning.
There's much more later.

I feel useless. I AM useless.
Hurting every single person i loved.
I'm very sorry.
I didn't really meant to do it.
But it's my fault.

Every single small matter becomes BIG
and it just stack and stack and stack
Exactly what Mer said.

I can't take it anymore.
I wish this would all be gone.

In times like this, Time appears to be slow.
Why?

I'm mentally prepared...
But i'm afraid....
Afraid of hurting those i loved....
I'm very sorry.
Very sorry for hurting you,
making you sad,
worried about me,
and letting you down.

I just wish you don't worry
too much about me.
I'm not worth worrying.

But i just want to let you know..
I love you all very much.

Please forgive me.

Labels: The skies get darker. So does my life.

4:20 PM
ivan

Sunday, January 20, 2008

It hurts.
It really does.

This feeling is like a knife stabbed into my heart.

All i can wish for is just to go back into the past.
Where everything was fine.
But i know i can't.

Everything may be lost.

I apologise for hurting those i love.

Running away isn't the best choice.
Learn to face our fears.
The obstacles infront of us.
Yes, it isn't easy.
This is Life.
But we shouldn't give up.

"Do whatever you like, but suffer the consequences."
Thank you June, for teaching me that. I really appreciate it.

You MAY not see me for awhile.
And I'm sorry for making all of you worried.
I'm such a disgrace.

I love all of you.
All those who cared for me.
My Family, My Relatives, My Friends.
Everyone. Who cared for me.
Thank you for being there for me.
And I'm Sorry.

One small mistake and everything is gone.

Just give me a glimmer of Hope.
Please.

Don't make the same mistake as I did.

I'm sorry.

Labels: A Storm's coming.

4:12 PM
ivan